Do you ever feel that when you are alone you long for company but when you are with others you just want to sink in your own thoughts, just by yourself?
This is my song for that feeling. Please listen to it once and then one more time.
At first, it was just a soft voice for me accompanied by a catchy melody. Then, after the third time of listening, I finally started to pay attention to the lyrics. Then we became inseparable.
I believe true, artistic pieces were created when they stop you and force you to interpret them. Sometimes they feel more than a 4-minute long thing. Sometimes they come to life, they transform into stories and then they interweave with your story.
The woman goes down to the riverside to be alone. The water, the purifying substance…suddenly every symbol of it appears in front of my eyes from literature classes. All those long hours when I was forced to interpret poems and prose come together for a dance: blue, the color of the water, purity, spirituality, air, sky, hope, and inspiration. In school sometimes it felt like a burden to deepen in this topic. Sometimes they were my enemies because it was an obligation to interpret the verses. Now I find comfort in it.
So there is this person who goes down to the river. She could jump in, she could go with the current. She is tempted to and is encouraged by others to do so. However, she sees that the water mashes and tears up everything, and the torn pieces sink and disappear in the water forever. ‘Somebody says swim with the current and float away’ Go with the flow. Just live your life every day as the water pushes you. Don’t buck against the force, this is the simplest and most rational solution.
She knows this is not what she wants and still: she throws herself in the way of temptation every day. She goes as close to the water as possible, she goes every day. She falls in. Now she’s just one of the stones in the water which go with the current.
I don’t want to drift and float. I don’t want to end up in the water but still, I behave just as the woman walking on the riverside. I constantly feel the danger of falling in a mediocre life or even worse: a boring one.
At this time I didn’t walk alone on the riverside to make sure that I stay on the shore. Our river, Maros is an old lady, dirty and sluggish, so it repels me enough to be careful not to fall in. Kind of a good metaphor for life in Romania: you always have to keep your eyes open and be aware if you don’t want to end up with a boring, passive adulthood. So here we are, playing like kids, not thinking about the approaching water or the approaching autumn that comes with serious decisions every year. I also like to think about it another way: here we are, adults who know how to play games, to laugh and to swim against the current.